Sunday, July 28, 2013

Bad Week!!

I know I have been a bad girl this week and haven't shared all the things I said I would .... But you will have to excuse me :P ... Things got a bit crazy!!! 14 appointments in 15 days ... school holiday activities and stick 5 days of school and a few melt downs in there too!!! Sometimes I feel a bit guilty for not getting things done that I probably should... But lets face it ... there are only sooo many hours in a day ... and there isn't time to do everything unfortunately!! 

My number one biggest guilt ... Is not getting all the extra therapy done that we are "prescribed" so to speak from every single therapist ... If I was to do EVERYTHING that we are supposed to do every day .. Boogie would not be attending school or sleeping ... *sigh* there is just simply too much .. and there has to be a line where I say no .. you can go and play ... on top of all his Ipad work he does ... and school too!!! My poor house gets neglected on a daily basis .. I have a list of things I need to do around the house .. that I have been to Bunnings to buy ... but clearly have put it off .. and off .. and off .. cos there is just no time some days!! 

I feel guilty that my mum was on every single little board ... volunteered on a regular basis .. be it at school .. the canteen that she subsequently ended up working in for a good 10+ years ... and was a Brownie leader ... I don't know how between having 3 of us kids ... and doing all the handyman and mummy stuff around the house that she got it all done cos Dad was off working ... to be honest ... it is a hard expectation to live up to (not that I don't love you mum :P) lol

I am sooo grateful for all those time saving routines in my life ... My slow cooker in winter ... My steamer and rice cooker in summer :P and my mum for when I just need that 1 night to not think ... cuddle up in my bed ... and just SLEEP ... it doesn't happen often but she knows how much I appreciate it!!! And Boogie loves spending time with my mum and her partner ... it is like a mini holiday/break from his routine ...

I love that I can call my mum when ever I need .. and she is reassurance ... especially after having a week like last week!! A confronting week I guess ... I HATE going to new therapists .. and having to start from scratch ... telling them every little thing ... them probing me .. making me feel like I am the reason .. my pregnancy was the reason Boogie has CP ... and all his other problems ... It makes me want to wrap myself up in a doona and eat ice cream from sunrise to sundown ... I feel bone chilling GUILT! And even though I know none of it is my fault ... there is always that twinge in your heart ... trying to figure out if you would have done something differently would it all be the same ...

My mums catchphrase to me .. whenever I am having a BAD WEEK .. is "God wouldn't have given you anything you can't handle" ... (Yes I grew up catholic ... I believe in a greater being - I just don't taint my posts with it all :P ) And I know it is true ... I know I can handle it ... there may be break downs .. there may be a bucket full of tantrums ... pain .. and sorrow .... But I can handle it all ... Just give me a tub of ice-cream and I am good to go :P (my poor waistline) We all have stress handling mechanisms ... What are yours?

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